this man was an amazing person…weird but amazing.
this is heaven in a glass…nough said
being noone else is reading this im sure ill talk to me…tim where have you been? well tim ill tell you that since we spoke last i was in orlando florida being poor. Now i find myself back at home in indiana wondering when i will get out again! The good news is i have this pretty awesome full time job working with special needs children and it comes with full benefits which are amazing! As it stands being summer time i am a full time painter making some extra scratch! i kinda like this girl allie a lot and shes super smart and cute in ways i cant discribe! did i mention how awesome she is??? yeah shes purty cooooooooolll!
enough for now, but more soon i promise!
tim
i just saw apaloosa and it was AMAZING. it was slow and filled with humor and more then just gun fights and drunken cowboys talking about gunslinging. it had heart and warmth and just something i havent seen nor felt in a western movie in a good while. ill admit its not the best thing ive ever seen but the relationship that was shown between the two main characters was just sooo well done.
ps being broke in florida sucks. indiana will you take me back?
Sometimes, when I am people watching, I get this preconceived notion that these people are way cooler than they actually are. I do it quite often. I love people almost instantly.
I read a column every day, from someone who seems to be my hearts twin. I want to believe he is cool but I’m sure he is telling the truth when he says, Don’t date me.
Cause who knows us writers better than we know ourselves.
i must say i REALLY enjoy reading what you have to say. even though i dont know you at all i still am curious as to what makes you tick. thank you.
(via dradams)
i shouldve moved to florida AFTER the cardinals played indy…how stupid and selfish of me! my friend was wiping down tables at ripple bagel deli lastnight ryan when you came in for a beverage…she called me after bragging how she got to see you and how good you was ah lookin….shes weird like that. have fun tonight boys!
being drunk and far away from someone you want to be with that is all sudden and out of the blue sucks….someone you adore and know is a good soul and strong and could be great….what do i do? continue my amazing phone calls and texts and hope she makes the right choice and knows what she wants and needs over your own wants and needs? do i desire her to move her? sure i do…is it right for me to want that? is it right for me to want so mcuh in such a short time with someone im just getting to know? ahhhhh im drunk,…the damn dog wont stop barking….too many cigarettes tonight has my throat hurting and my teeth feel gross…its been four days since i saw my best friend teege and i already miss him….my car broke down right when i need it most and need to get to work and make money…life sure knows how to throw a fucking fast one….enough for now…pass out….
Foggy,
I am so fucking alone. I hate this. And me, with my one thousand distractions, what do they mean. They mean I am alone. Lonely. Insufferable to even myself. It feels awful. But I know who I am and what I am and what I like. And I dislike even thinking about things I dislike for I like things so much I feel like the weight of my own fucking nagging inspiration sometimes feel more like madness. And this is just a place to dump that. What kind of a life is that. And this, this makes it worse. panic attacks, insomnia, needless worry. I can’t handle this machine. Nor can I handle my own heart, it’s dimensions, and what ideas it leads me to. They all dead end. So I am breaking up with the internet. Like Cable before it. Like….well like everything that is not work. Because at least in the work I can disappear and at least feel like something, if only for that moment. I am so serious I bought a ring for myself that I would wear to remember to not ever ever come into this place, where if you are like me, and beyond BEYOND alone not matter how much company or how little, then you would know that this is just a sad relationship. sad. why why do i follow that notion always. it never rains enough in any movie or on any perfect night. when you just say “fuck this” and you give up. give up without walking away. i love the band i am in and music and reading and work and writing and even painting. this is enough. i will learn to take my stupid rat faced romantic guts and remember, i am alone because i chose to be, chose, when it was too late anyway. and i will love. i am taking my computer (foggy) after this posts and fucking smashing it into a thousand pieces for a day never suffered again, telling the world what it should know by now. that i am not ok. and i accept this now. i accept and i quit. i give up. nothing is sadder than a grown man who only lives to dream, then having to listen to him talk about it. that is how i imagine it. and i have enough of that to last a lifetime and i don’t care anymore i am happy and will be grateful to grow old next to a stack of comic books. forever. I hate this computer and must go now. Be smart- Be funny- Make noise- Dream Hard- BE YOURSELF and fuck em if they can’t see the joke.
R
this usually makes me feel better:
so life works like this: you move to a new city with little money and a car and that car gets you around town when you dont have anywhere important to go but as soon as you find that good job 20 minutes away the car breaks down!! thank the Lord for my amazing friends who have helped me out through this tough period i am dealing with…
girls….how they sure have good timing and happen to like me when im good friends with their bfs…second time its happened to me….ughhhh i need sleep.
